Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I said to everyone, we have a plate for this year can you think of a word ? Joe had thinking time as he calls it, not as long as Andy and I had and came up with the word PEACE, something I think we all crave for in the busyness of life . I didn't come up with mine until today, as I was travelling back on the train, FAITHFUL, I suppose it isn't just for this new year coming but also for the year that has passed. So what does faithful mean?
Loyal, true, committed, constant, attached, devoted, dedicated, reliable, staunch, truthful, dependable, trusty, steadfast, unwavering, immovable, unswerving!


Andy choose TEAMWORK which ties in with faithful.With teamwork so many more things are possible working together,supporting, and caring anything is possible! And Ellie when we talked it through KITTEN was her word so how could I not put this on. Maybe she likes cats and kittens so much as when she was three months old Joe drew whiskers on her face with felt tips!!!because he said she wanted to be a cat!!!
This year like many people we have had a roller coaster ride, with lots of highs, special times together with family and friends, seeing and cuddling Bethany Grace,making memories together, seeing our little miracle boy grow up and go into year 2 signifying his last year in Infant school, to watching and sharing in the enjoyment of the great British Bake off and MasterChef, even Andy now knows how to make a Beef Wellington without the pastry going soggy!!!to seeing him receive his football trophy. Seeing Ellie go from strength to strength,excited about the world around her and also showing some of her mummy's determined spirit, to having those special cuddles in the morning when she has just woken up! We are so grateful. There have been the down times but in the midst of the darkness there has always been light and there are always positives if you look for them.
"I'm grateful for the air I breathe,
I'm so thankful for this life I live,
For the mercies that You pour on me,
And the blessings that meet every need.
And the grace that is changing me

Through all that I have known,
I have been held in the shelter of Your hand;
And as my life unfolds,
You are revealing the wisdom
Of Your sovereign plan.
There are no shadows in Your faithfulness,
There are no limits to Your love." by Stuart Townend

Seeing my Dad become resident in a care home was and is hard, but its a walk that I don't do alone, so many people have and are affected by Alzheimers.
Hopefully this year my sister and I will be running for Alzheimers with our children and Katy will be here to give birth to her second child exciting times, so don't think she will be running with us but maybe Iona?!

So remember this year, life is a journey not a destination,don't let yesterday use up too much of today and life's best present is the gift of love! Live it for today!

Grateful

Today

The last blog I wrote was on my birthday back in February, 9 months ago, so why write now?


This picture was taken a year ago just after my Dad's Birthday, here he was celebrating with us Ellie's, special times and such special memories.


Today we celebrated Dad's Birthday, Dad was with us for 10 minutes at the most, he was there in body but not in spirit and had to go back to his home, he didn't really know where he was, or really who we were. He didn't acknowledge the cards his Grandchildren had made and written, he was in his own world, and nobody could or can get into it. This is not the dad I remember, but sometimes all your can remember is Dad with Alzheimers, and not the Dad he was before. I can remember mum clearing out his desk, and in it was his diary, he had written about me when I was going through a really tough time, how he had driven round to check I was alright and now here he is desperate to be with his mum and we keep on telling him she is away on holiday, as telling him she has died he relives his grief each time. To see your children taking their Grandad's hand and walking with him, around the room at his home and pretending with him that its the North York Moors is soul destroying. Recently in the summer, I went to see him with my mum, Joe and Ellie were away,he asked me how he could get to heaven, and whether I could take him, that we could go together. I love him so much and wish I could! So make each moment count!

Moment by moment!

Today has been a special day filled with fun, laughter, happiness but also tears!

I had the treat of having breakfast in bed, lovingly prepared by my 6 year old son Joe, with Daddy supervising, good job really as wooden skewers were involved! Both Joe and Ellie my 2 year old daughter came running in with their cards and singing happy Birthday!! Ellie got in bed with me and wanted to give me squeezes!! Big squeeze, little squeeze!Memories of my Dad came flooding back!

This picture was taken today. Ellie and I went to see him with my mum. He is in hospital at the moment due to his Alzheimer's. I will treasure this picture, there is a sparkle in his eyes and he knew who we were. While we were there, his agitation increased, and it was sad to see him not coping with Ellie, and being verbally abusive. This is not my Dad, but this dreaded disease!Tears were shed.

Arriving home Andy and Joe had decorated the house and had made lunch. We spent a lovely time opening presents and being together, moment by moment drinking in this time, special times and special memories.

The table bombs were taken outside!!!!