Today

The last blog I wrote was on my birthday back in February, 9 months ago, so why write now?


This picture was taken a year ago just after my Dad's Birthday, here he was celebrating with us Ellie's, special times and such special memories.


Today we celebrated Dad's Birthday, Dad was with us for 10 minutes at the most, he was there in body but not in spirit and had to go back to his home, he didn't really know where he was, or really who we were. He didn't acknowledge the cards his Grandchildren had made and written, he was in his own world, and nobody could or can get into it. This is not the dad I remember, but sometimes all your can remember is Dad with Alzheimers, and not the Dad he was before. I can remember mum clearing out his desk, and in it was his diary, he had written about me when I was going through a really tough time, how he had driven round to check I was alright and now here he is desperate to be with his mum and we keep on telling him she is away on holiday, as telling him she has died he relives his grief each time. To see your children taking their Grandad's hand and walking with him, around the room at his home and pretending with him that its the North York Moors is soul destroying. Recently in the summer, I went to see him with my mum, Joe and Ellie were away,he asked me how he could get to heaven, and whether I could take him, that we could go together. I love him so much and wish I could! So make each moment count!